.black light.

I ended Week 2 (of the semester....for some reason in OT school, everything is referred to by it's week number) with cosmic bowling which leads me to this conclusion. Sometimes I think I may overanalyze things....clearly I had not intended to arrive at such thoughts from throwing a 10 lb. ball down a lane for 3 hours under black lights on a Friday night. Regardless, we were sitting at the table putting our shoes on and we were so easily amused at how our outfits looked under the black light. I noticed how my pants were lighting up with all sorts of stains all over them. Yes, I do wear jeans for multiple days until they are either 1. stained or 2. too loose. However, these jeans didn't appear to have any stains on them....BUT clearly there was some stuff (most likely leftovers of a snack) on those jeans. For the next few minutes, I got all sorts of jokes about what could have been on my pants, etc, etc. Despite looking fine on the outside, there was really stuff on these jeans when looked at with a different light.
After some time of thinking about what could have possibly been on my jeans (good news: they are currently in my dirty clothes basket), I realized that I am like those jeans. From the outside, some people probably think it looks like I have my life together. People who know me know that I can ACT like everything is alright when really there is lots of stuff going on, but I keep it hidden. Then there are the few people who REALLY know me who can see right through my disguise...it's like they could sense that there is some sort of "invisible stain on my jeans". In reality, God might as well be shining a black light on me. He can see RIGHT THROUGH all of the stupid stuff I've done, everything I'm going through, and all of the mistakes I WILL make in the future. But the great thing is...nothing is going to change His love for me. It doesn't matter "how dirty my jeans get" or what I'm struggling through in life, He's ALWAYS going to be right there.
Just a thought that I know I needed to be reminded of....